SO….
my remorse got the best of me. I walked down Fort St. to McDonald’s and got a Quarter Pounder meal.
I am going to closet the burger and fries for a year and see what happens. I’ll update this in a few months. For now, lets see how the Mcfood does. Its gonna sit in its original bag but also in a large zip lock to make sure no bugs or stench appears. I don’ t think I’ll attempt to eat it a year from now but I never though I’d eat that McNugget…
To rot or not to rot…that’s the question…
So its done. Three years. Bone dried.
Finished.
I ate it. Three year old. A three year old McDonald’s Chicken McNugget.
Tasted like wood yet it tasted like nothing.
Really…it was fibrous, odd texture, and tasted like I was eating a piece of…well…wood. Really.
McWood?
Oddly the next morning, I have remorse. Charleston Heston remorse. Not for eating it. But the fact that the story is over.
And to no real conclusion. I mean, as some friends pointed out, I’ve put worse down the pipe. Scorpion, worms, dog, canned ravioli, etc…I mean what was the big deal. I’ve eaten meals from dubious origins. Who hasn’t? Hell, ever had one plate lunch? Ever eaten spam? Ho…!
Really…its been had.
Whats to say about McDonald’s and food that’s edible three years down the road? Well, maybe we should watch what we eat. Better yet, when we eat it.
you know what? I’m going to McDonald’s this morning. Nothing like grease and fat to start the day right. I think I’m gonna bring home a new blog piece.
Shoots….is that a pimple? What am I a teen again?
Frankenstein: Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive… It’s alive, it’s moving, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!
Moritz: Henry, it the name of GOD!
Frankenstein: Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!
Dramatic? Indeed but I’ve done it. I’ve reincarnated the McNugget. After an overnight dip in a bath of tap water, a forgetful day in the fridge, the little bastard is back!
It smells like a cold, stale chicken McNugget, the same smell you would think it would have the next day after being in the ‘fridge. The meat looks like it probably would for being in the state it is.
Now here comes the question? Do I eat it? It looks and smells slightly edible. But mind you this is a THREE year old piece of so called food that sat behind the tv for a month then spent years in a ziplock back in my desk. THREE YEARS?
Do I attempt? Do I dare video tape me engaging in something unholy as this? Might I find myself sick?
Hmmm…to ponder for a day.
Alas, poor Chicken McNugget, I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of limited taste, of most excellent fat and salt, he hath
borne on his back, that sweet and sour sauce a thousand times, and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is!
Shakespeare? No…of course not but a pun indeed.
Today I cleaned out an old box and found that little lost McNugget which you’ve read about over the years.
Here is the original post from the McFrankenstein post from 2009. If you remember what made me write about a chicken McNugget is that I found this little bugger a month after I had had McDonald’s after a night of carousing with pals. I recall coming home late and someone being pretty choleric and throwing a bag against the …. er… well … lets move on to the point of this post.
A month after I found this piece of so called food behind the TV, it was in pretty good condition all considering it survived in a tropical climate for a month. I kept it and decided to write about its demise in decay but to our surprise, the little sucker never really did much. It just puckered, hardened and petrified.
Not to dwell on suggestions that McDonald’s is not real food and a McNugget is nothing more than a combination of bi-products of semi digestible, well…you don’t really know what it is. But Its now three years and the shriveled once chicken is someone still edible. I’m going to soak a piece of it in water for a few days to see if it hydrates.
Will I attempt to eat it? Doubtful but I’ve eaten them before and to be honest, I don’t know if there would be a real difference between fresh and three year old vintage.
37,000 plus images
482.38 gigs to be precise. I’ve been re editing all the work from Japan. I’m worn. I can’t believe I took that many pictures.
So as I edited through some of the outtakes and non assignment locations, I found a few little gems here and there. I’ll be posting individual images in the next few posts.
After being in Japan for sometime, I got tired of eating Japanese food. Yeah sure, I eat that all that Japanese food back in Honolulu but I can easily go to get a cheeseburger (not like a Texas burger mind you) and fries anytime I want. I do have to declare Tanaka Saimin makes a mean cheeseburger with fries.
With that in mind, a month is a long time not to eat, well, as they say, comfort food. I don’t need that much comfort in food as I am very quick to adapt to the local food wherever I travel to (I mean what is American food? burgers, pizza, and chicken wings?) so I never have too much of a breakdown. And besides, Japanese food, including the stuff they make from other countries (Japanese croissants are amazing!!!!!) is mostly near perfect. Yes, there are loads of interpretations (pizza with natto?!?!?!) but we are in a global market so nothing is never or not available. (yes…double negs)
But its still hard to be in Japan and not have a good grasp of Japanese. Most menus in Japan are mostly written in….anyone? anyone? Bueller? Bueller? …. in Japanese. If I was by myself, I was resigned to pointing at pictures on the menu to order or sadly dragging a willing waiter/waitress outside to the front of the restaurant where I could point at the little plastic food models. 
Ah, my big mouth taking a back seat to my index finger… (T_T) it is a bit intimidating for me to be on my own and try to get into the swing of functioning in Japanese. Loads of misunderstood nods, hai’s and wakaranai‘s! I let on I don’t really understand too much but I’ve gotten better. Japanese is just a tough thing to learn.
So when I had the quick chance to pop into a McDonalds in Osaka for a quick bite, I knew I’d get something pretty good (if you consider McDonalds good) and the menu would be in Engrish. The meal might come with a side nori (seeweed) but it’d be a good ol’ processed quality controlled food. Yet, as I read over the menu ( as children and old ladies stare at me from all angles) I couldn’t help but to stick to the Japanese style food and go for this one item on the meal called the Shaka Shaka Chicken.
Hmmm…What might this be? Chicken with pineapple? Chicken wrrapped in spam? Nothing of the sort. It was a fried chicken patty served in a little paper bag in which you’d sprinkle a package of this peppery salt into the bag and then then…shaka shaka! (see instructions on bag) HO…brudda that was way cool and really GOOD. Crispy, spicy, and so American in that unique Japanese way.
I guessed the reference to the shaka was McDonald’s clever way of saying shake shake. They couldn’t (I assume) state shakey shakey because Shakey’s Pizza is still alive and well in Tokyo (hmmm….) and using that term would warrant a nice little law suit. Hence, Micky D’s borrowed the lovable, yet misunderstood, shaka from the Aloha State’s aloha spirit.
Now if we could only get McDonalds US to adapt something as tasty and cool.
How about a badonkadonk burger?
(that killed me…)